OBITUARY

I got a call last week from a dear friend that one of our mutual friends from the Whitehall Yearling Class of 1970 had died, following a devastating stroke. He was one of a kind (aren’t we all?), and the world lost a profoundly good and unique individual. As I read his obituary a few days later, it struck me that I had not done what I said I was going to do. Maybe I have too many irons in the fire right now, trying to get two books done, figuring out what’s wrong with my old body, and looking for some remote contract work to feed my writing obsession and the costs associated with it. But – I want to do this. I need to do this. And so, everything else will be put on hold the rest of the week and by the weekend, I will have it accomplished. Even if I have to eat lunchmeat instead of cooking, cereal instead of baking…I will do this.

I WILL write my own obituary.

I’ve told my friends and close family I was going to do it, and I think I’ve written it in my head a hundred times. And if you know me, you know already – it won’t be “normal.”  Bob’s was wonderful. It was full of his accomplishments, snippets of his humor and zest for life, the love he shared with family and friends. Lovely, like most obituaries are. I have written several myself for other people, and I followed the same kind of format that is listed in the definition of the word:

  Obituary. o-bit-u-ar-y. noun. A notice of a death, especially in a newspaper, typically including a brief biography of the deceased person (Oxford Languages). Further description – it gives a background of the person’s life, his/her achievements, lists surviving and already deceased family members, and any upcoming funeral arrangements. Oh yes…the flowers information and/or donations in lieu of them, in memory of the loved one.

All genuinely nice, very proper, and age-old. I see nothing wrong with obituaries as they are. But…I see them in a quite unique way, at least for myself. Bear with me.

The word obituary appeared in the early 18^th century and came from the Latin word obire . Broken down, ob = toward and ire = to go. Perhaps this was to symbolize one going toward death, an idea that is different from the modern-day version of after death. That might then be an unfamiliar word – aftdeTH or aftmortem (of course we have all heard the word postmortem – yes, I watch NCIS!). I like the literal connotation of obituary, however – moving toward death. And who better to write about one’s life than oneself while s/he is still alive? Who knows more about the person than the person him or herself? I know – it sounds weird in a way. But to me, weird is sometimes normal, especially if it conveys something unpredictable and even magical at times. I know me. I lived MY life. No one has my memories. Just the other day, my daughter said she learned something about me after reading my Aunt Helen blog…and we have been mother and daughter for almost 5…er…many years. The fact is, she and my son and many of my relatives and friends already know about my accomplishments, where I went to school, clubs I served in, etc., etc., etc. But…do any of them know how it felt to be told by my high school counselor that I wasn’t going to make it in college, so she’d help me find a job? How that shaped my future? Or what it has been like to go from a typing class in my junior year to sitting here on my HP trying to avoid ChatGPT and AI? What tear gas really feels like? Or how nothing else in the world mattered when I held my children those first few seconds after their births? And how could anyone really write about how I feel thinking about life beyond this world, knowing His promise has been fulfilled? Maybe I think about Paul and his writings while he was imprisoned – love letters about our Lord. I’m certainly not Paul, nor do I think my life could compare to his and what he was sharing – but I’d like to think that my obituary is my last salute to this world, my own love letter as it is. My stamp on my life, just as I have always lived it.

So, I challenge each one reading this to think about writing your own obituary. You don’t have to share it with anyone – or you can share it with everyone. The purpose would be for you to capture YOU as you obire. And I’ve learned not to be suspicious, so if you want mine after it’s finished just let me know. And yes…if you want to go ahead and send flowers now, I’ll certainly love them while I’m still kicking 😊